In Memory of

Jeremy Duncan Gross

Died 01 Jun 2019

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  • First Names:Jeremy Duncan
  • Last Name:Gross
  • Age:32y
  • Country:New Zealand
  • Funeral Home:C Little & Sons
  • Charity:your favourite charity - thank you
  • Published Notices:(0)
  • ID:472046

Beautiful obituaries have already been presented for Jeremy. Locally and worldwide for the many people whose lives were blessed by knowing him.

This brief comment is for the 'overseas layer' who couldn't make it back for the funeral: June 7th 2019 in Auckland New Zealand.

Perhaps it was the multiple depths and unsuspected layers that made his funeral so astonishing. The one place and time where so many separate worlds he lived in came together.
The sheer number of people who wanted to honour him needed two huge packed events in Auckland, apart from the others abroad.

So many friends and family. Flying in from all over the country and the world. So much sadness. Little silly loving anecdotes. His humour, astonishing intellect, music, warmth, insight. Most of all, a great share of that most uncommon of qualities - common decency.
One of us forever.

School and university friends of course. Still as close, still every bit as warm, blessed with good health and being able to continue with marriages and children. Girlfriends moving on with love in light of no promises for any future at all.

Dozens from his climatological engineering firm, co-workers and bosses, how they'd tried so hard to find a way for him to stay on when his illness escalated. And the final devastating downward spiral as allergies to the chemicals and micro latex particles took hold. Apparently, fully half of the large company took the time off to come and honour him.
Joyous laughter still about the poster he'd applied for as a Canadian, at least they still have that! Many happy anecdotes with tears, deep respect.

Many from his masonic lodge paid respects also. Royal Arch Masonry of England. We hadn't known.
He became a Master Mason at a young age, never telling about his chronic illness, always able to appear so well until increasingly having to send apologies. On track to become one of the youngest Masters of a lodge. Always so generous with charity to others.
So deeply admired and respected.

Not all his friends were professional peers. He reached across many divides. Another layer known to some included housemates from an earlier time. Such a mixture. An old poet, obviously knowing so little about Jeremy's successful life - but whose affection and sadness were deeply moving. A long-standing loyal friend, engineer and car enthusiast. Even a musician acquaintance, apparently not counted as one of his friends at all, now claiming great friendship and apparently even going on to adapt a musical concert in his honour. All the laughter and memories of youthful pranks in the photographs and stories.
During the second less formal gathering that gentlest warmest of smiles incongruously projected onto a large screen in an endless stream of wicked mischief, joy and love of life. Looking down kindly as devastated friend after friend came forward to bid farewell.

His mother shared the early symptoms of his ongoing relapsing illness after the severe viral brain infection that affected them all. He was a teenager. The multiple fruitless times medical help was sought across the world, her own tireless efforts as a doctor herself. His astonishing ability to gather the energy to achieve so highly in between bouts. Knowing how he kept such things to himself, she shared this now to help everyone. Finally the ones who hadn't known were able to understand those times of quiet sadness, exhaustion and unavailability.
What an incredible man.

She asked a friend to read the loving eulogy she'd written, with Jeremy's grief-stricken Jenny standing by, nodding wordlessly in agreement. Giving those who hadn't known a glimpse into the beautiful family beginning Jeremy had had. The large roomful all taking in every word in total silence.
Yet another precious secret layer of our beloved friend.
Who knows. In terms of his remarkable achievements, perhaps there are even more.

The actual burial, in another totally unsuspected turn was simple and unpretentious. Humble and real as he'd wanted it. An ancient prayer offered by those entitled.

Blessings and peace.

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